Let's Break It Down: Why Do Gooood Girls, Like Bad Guuuuys (c) DMX

(Sidenote: I met this guy on my college football team and he was a laidback cat for a while. 5 mins later, he busts out singing this song in the title (DMX "Good Girls, Bad Guys") as his anthem. This big 6-3 dude just acting a fool and singing that female part. On to my take)

I got into a good conversation on Twitter with a friend over the weekend about this old adage. Good girls always want bad boys. It's been a dilemma for me since high school because I consider myself a good guy but instead of telling you about me, I'd rather examine this whole bad boy deal.

When girls say they want bad boys, what they really mean is - they want a guy with balls who won't back down. They want a dude who's not afraid to get his hands dirty. They want a dude who's a lil spontaneous and not predictable. They don't want a guy who's mushy, too sensitive but still knows how to show his love.

They don't want a real bad boy who's gonna disrespect them and allow them to make excuses that it's out of love. They don't want a man with a record who's doing things that'll get him thrown back in the clink. They don't want a dude who's gonna bring them down and cause more headaches than good times.

So in essence, they want a good guy who's not boring, willing to be spontaneous, not soft and creative. Got it?

The term "bad boy" is really subjective. It's a dig at guys who would give girls the respect they'd deserve but it's also a challenge to do more than just be a "friend." Either way, women need to give good dudes a chance and stop trying to find a guy who's bad for your personal expense.

Don't shortchange them and ultimately don't shortchange yourselves. It all comes down to the same thing that we all should look for in a person worth dating -balance.

*Fellas, the same applies to you too. I just tackled this issue for women cause it's something I've thought about for years.

The Rise and Fall of DMX

(In the interest of full disclosure, I was inspired by hip hopDX blogger William E. Ketchum III and his co-hort J Young putting DMX on his list of most disappointing MC's last year. I had to a double take like most but after reading it, I had to agree.)

10 years ago was a great time for hip-hop. Jay-Z, the Hot Boys, Shyne and Eminem had the headlines and the return of Dr. Dre would make bigger waves by year’s end. But the biggest face was easily DMX, who would drop his third album (And Then There Was X) at the end of the year and would be the last No. 1 album of the 20th century.

First week sales were nearly 700,000 – the 2nd highest of the year behind the Backstreet Boys selling over a million. In a year where everybody in music was doing crazy numbers, DMX sold more his first week than any solo artist. And this was before he released his biggest hit “Party Up” in 2000.

There was no doubt who the face of hip-hop was. If you asked anyone from that era, Jay-Z and DMX were neck-and-neck and arguably X had more crossover appeal despite Jay selling 4 million because he tapped into a wider audience.

DMX was a breath of fresh air when he dropped in 1998. Killed the shiny suit era brought on Bad Boy the minute he dropped his first single “Get at Me Dog” – a Top 40 joint. But even in 1997, he brought the heat with two verses on LL Cool J’s “4,3,2,1” and Mase’s “24 Hours to Live.”

“Get at Me Dog” went gold and his classic debut “It’s Dark and Hell is Hot” soared to No. 1. Then came another classic in “Ruff Ryders Anthem” and suddenly the hardcore scene was back. A raw, emotive delivery, that growl, and a torment you could feel – he was something fresh with a new sound courtesy of Dame Grease and some kid named Swizz Beatz.

This guy was openly praying on his records too. I mean it felt hypocritical to pray and be sincere in one song but then talk reckless in another but for some, it probably related because they felt like they were in two worlds. I could rattle off my favorite songs of his but one of my favorites is "Slippin". He wasn't afraid to let you in his mind and that's an honesty missing from most of hip-hop today.

(Sidenote: I remember getting trouble for reciting the hook of Ruff Ryders Anthem in front of my then, 2 year-old friend. He'd be going through church saying the hook and everyone would look at me like I did something wrong. For the record, I also had him singing Kirk Franklin's cover of Bill Withers "Lovely Day.")

It didn't surprise me that X thought many times about going into the ministry. I told people that if Mase could do it, so could he. God can use anybody he sees fit and if X cleaned up his act, he could impact many lives.

6 months later, “Flesh of My Flesh, Blood of My Blood” came out and debuted at No. 1 with 670,000 sold. The sky was the limit after that successful tour with Jay-Z. Not to mention that he starred in “Belly” with Nas and earned buzz for his performance. He was planting the seeds for a Hollywood career. So by 2000, he was heading into the stratosphere. But what happened?

How did he go from on the verge of superstardom to being an afterthought. Look at his peers he came with: Jay-Z and Eminem became legends, Mos Def surpassed him as hip-hop’s go to actor, Ja Rule rose just as fast and was gone by 2003-04, Juvenile made hits, Lil’ Wayne blew up late, Mystikal went to jail, Cam’Ron started a movement, Big Pun left us too soon. Where is X? Freshly removed from another stint in jail with more mug shots than hits in the last six years

It baffles my mind knowing how big this guy was but the decline was coming. His next two albums went to No. 1 and barely crept past platinum solely off reputation instead of hits (still sad “Get It On The Floor” wasn’t bigger). By the time his 5th album dropped in 2003, 50 Cent was hailed as the new savior of street rap. The last hit that prolly got him attention was "Who We Be" in 2001.

Plus he had legal woes that sprinkled throughout his career (2000 – busted for marijuana, 2001 – charged with assault after other charges were dropped). He famously blew off the MTV Video Music Awards in 1999 and 2000. By 2008, his name was in the police blotter more than on the radio (drugs, impersonating a fed, speeding with a suspended license). He was released from jail this past month after a 90-day sentence.

*Not to mention, concerts I was supposed to see in San Diego were cancelled twice. I blew off a Spring Break to come back and see him and what happened - no show. SMH*

Maybe it was his volatile personality – the same thing that drove his music was something he couldn’t control in real life. Maybe it was his music not connecting the way it did in 1998, not even with Swizz Beatz making a comeback in 2004. Maybe he just couldn’t stay out of trouble and contributed to his own demise.

Shucks, it was probably all three. His gimmick ran out and what we had left was a tormented individual without an outlet.

Like my friend TriFlaw told me he just didn’t update with the times. He stayed in his lane and eventually it ran out. Hip-hop goes in cycles every five years and his peers were either afterthoughts or at a crossroads by 2004. But by then, their impact was safe. X was on his downfall by 2001 at least in the public eye.

X connected with a lot of people including me because of what he brought to the table. Out of anybody who could’ve been compared to Tupac, he was the best candidate and should have been on the same level as all of his peers right now. To this day, I have yet to hear anybody in hip-hop connect the spiritual and the streets so well.

His career will be remembered for 14 million records sold, first artist in history to have 5 No. 1 albums out the gate, classic hits and album cuts that will get replay value and exploring the two biggest elements of Black music as well as anybody recently – the spiritual and the streets.

Too bad this will be overshadowed by his dramatic free-fall where he became a punch-line and another in the long list of troubled musicians. His demons and unchanging style were his downfall as well as his stepping stone. It's no surprise that just like Tupac, his volatile nature brought him down and hopefully he gets his life back on track now that he's a free man.

While it’s sad to see where Earl Simmons is now, it’s even sadder where you realize where he was 10 years ago as the biggest hip-hop star on the planet.

Flashback Friday: 1999 Albums

It's hard to believe that these albums are 10 years old. But more importantly, it's crazy how many these albums sold. This was the beginning of the end for albums consistently selling like crazy because Napster was looming and completely changed the music game.

To me, the biggest surprise of the 2000's was when Usher, Outkast and Norah Jones sold over 10 million copies of their albums. All it did was remind me of how our favorite (and not so favorite) artists used to do it in 1999-2000. You could pretty much go platinum easily if you had a monster hit like "Mambo No. 5."

It was the year of pop success that wouldn’t stop til 2001. Shania Twain, Backstreet Boys, Britney Spears, Limp Bizkit and Kid Rock were the faces of music. Again it boggles my mind that this year was 10 years ago. A lifetime ago when the record industry was in the middle of making its last stand and pop stars were seemingly made overnight.

It was the perfect storm of MTV’s “Total Request Live” blowing up and a year where people wanted to party. It was like everybody wanted to end the 20^th century on top and pretty much, nearly everybody did.

Favorite 5 Albums of 1999

1. red hot chili peppers – californication

2. rage against the machine - battle of los angeles

3. mos def – black on both sides (Black Dante's Illmatic)

4. moby – play (changed the game with marketing despite no hit single until summer 2001)

5. the roots – things fall apart

* right at No. 6 - Dr. Dre 2001

Top Comebacks

1. Santana

2. TLC/RHCP

3. Dr. Dre

4. Slick Rick (Street Talkin was the joint)

5. Jordan Knight/Joey McIntyre (tie - all the New Kids fans came out the wood work for these two. Top 10 hits for both)

6. Stone Temple Pilots (“Sour Girl” is still one of my Top 5 STP joints)

Top debuts (besides the Mighty Mos Def)

1. Ja Rule (hip hop’s next big superstar)/Britney Spears (Queen of Pop til 2004)

2. Christina Aguilera (pop’s greatest voice since then)

3. Eminem

4. Dixie Chicks (country wouldn’t be the same)

5. Slipknot (brought some much needed edge to rock)

6. Ricky Martin (everyone was “Livin La Vida Loca” that summer)

*other notable debuts – Pharoahe Monch, Staind, Lil’ Wayne, Jessica Simpson, Q-Tip

Career-making Albums

1. Creed – Human Clay (hailed as the kings of rock before the backlash started)

2. DMX – And Then There Was X (the last No. 1 album of the century and believe it or not, the 2nd biggest 1st-week sales of the year behind the Backstreet Boys...just a reminder how HUGE this guy was and how far he's fallen.)

3. Limp Bizkit - Significant Other

4. Backstreet Boys – Millenium (hate to put a pop joint on here, but it signified the rise of pop taking over the radio and the biggest artists selling a million in their 1^st week - everyone who sold a mil)

5. Blink 182 – Enema of the State (hello Travis Barker, hello pop charts, hello plenty of imitators)

6. Hot Boys – Guerrila Warfare (another key cog in Cash Money’s takeover)

7. Incubus – Make Yourself (possibly their best album and just like Moby, another 2-year build to greatness)

Great Albums that came through

Method Man & Redman “Blackout” (“Da RockWilder” is one of the best beats of the last 10 years)

Kurupt – Streetz is a Mutha (West Coast Classic)

Jimmy Eat World – Clarity

Jennifer Lopez – On the 6 (more on this in Flashback on Latin Pop)

Eve – Ruff Ryders 1^st Lady (the last female rapper to debut with an impactful career – sorry Remy Ma, Scenario 2000 smashes most posse cuts since then)

ODB – N***a Please

Nine Inch Nails – The Fragile

311 – Soundsystem

Foo Fighters - There is Nothing Left to Lose

Metallica – S&M

Biggest American Flop: Robbie Williams. The biggest pop star in England tried to make a splash over here and after being signed to Capitol Records, he only went gold. Consider him the music version of soccer, everyone else loves him, we don’t (“Millenium” is a great pop song though)

* Of course that doesn’t includes Memphis Bleek, whose debut flopped in 1999 and he’d keep trying to make hits to no avail. If you couldn't sell during THIS time, is it any surprise he didn't sell this decade?

That's Flashback Friday, hope y'all enjoyed it!