Monday Night Massacre in the 619

I’m still feeling numb thinking about that Chargers game. Not angry, not frustrated, not even smarting from my teams (Dallas and San Diego) having a combined 4 straight stomach-punching losses. Just numb because this is a new low for a Norv Turner team and that’s saying a lot.

A 24-0 lead at home. Gone.  Fire to finish? Non-existent. Somebody as a calming, firm presence? Nowhere to be found. Philip Rivers looking like a steady leader? Nah man.

I left work with the Chargers up big at halftime. I was puffing out my chest thinking we’re going to see Peyton Manning locked up and owned by San Diego once again. I was wrong.

What I saw qualifies as the worst regular season Chargers loss in my 10 years as a fan. And that’s saying a lot considering there have been at least 2-3 gut-punching games a year. This was a slow descent from Mt. Everest to Death Valley with unbelievable mistakes that just symbolized this era of Charger football.

Five Years and Counting - Homecoming to Happiness

They say you can't go home again. Well last week, I did and there's nothing like a reunion to make you feel proud, blessed and happy of where you are in life. This is my first ever one since I'm not sure I'll have one for my high school (10 years this summer? Sheesh.) My 5-year college reunion was a great, weird experience that was an old man moment while dipping in the fountain of youth.

I was already excited the week before when I ran into one of my closest college peeps to celebrate her birthday. Not only did we have a blast in Costa Mesa, but I got to meet another fellow USD alum - someone whose reputation preceded her long before we met. We swapped stories about fighting the administration and also working with our different multicultural organizations. It was a great set up for homecoming

(Sidenote, the bar played Purple Rain on one of the screens. Throw in a brief 30-minute DJ set with some great hip hop and that was a win beyond words!)

I made the drive bumping the new Blink-182 CD and +44's debut to get in the San Diego mood. Soon as I hit campus, I met up with one of my bros to hit up the tailgate. The biggest jolt was running into a friend of an ex who said "Happy 5th year homecoming". It was jarring but funny cause I felt old and proud at the same time.

But it wasn't as jarring as seeing the new United Front Multicultural Center. The center where I spent so much time being involved with the Black Student Union was now a sprawling office with several TV's and bigger desks. It was nice but it felt different. I missed the mural (above) that spread out along the side wall which welcomed you and let you know the tight knit minority community was strong. The old building is now a meeting room and I'm sure some new kids are wondering what this huge mural is. That could take some getting used to believing.

It felt good going to Torero Stadium and seeing the alma mater put up a shutout on Davidson. I wish I could've bought a jersey but keeping a tight budget does that to you. During halftime, I walked in the basketball gym to get refreshments and it hit me that it was the 1st time I had been in there since graduation. It felt eerily quiet so I walked around and as I was taking pictures, I thought about the feeling of joy I had in there. Thought about Mom and my Uncle cheering me on from the side. Not gonna lie, I almost cried.

All of that set up for the night - a reunion event at Sandbar at Mission Beach. I had never been there before even though it was a regular hangout for USD peeps. I was partial to Pacific Beach Bar and Grill for their dance floor and bigger vibe. But for one night, I did something different and it paid off.

I saw folks I hadn't seen in ages. Ran into a guy who I knew from before school when we both attended the same student leadership retreat in HS. Took a picture with my sophomore and junior year roommates and reflected with folks over dorm stories and where we were. The best moment came when I ran into my freshman year roommate DJ. I haven't spoken to him in 5 years but it was just like old times when we got together.

Freshman year was crazy because not only did I have to deal with a crazy hall, I had two crazy roommates who were a non-stop party. I'm talking wrestling in the room, drunken shenanigans, intense debates and exposure to good reggae/country. Somehow I survived it being the quiet man but as time went on, I loved those guys. Some of the best times I had came in that room. So to see DJ again after 5 years was awesome.

I didn't want to leave and thanks to DJ pulling one more stunt out of his hat, my belt became an unofficial limbo pole and we had half the bar going underneath. That's the Maher Hall craziness I remember well!

At one point, I was posted on the wall listening to Biggie's "Juicy". I stood there nodding and the words just sank in. I came to school dreaming big as a wide-eyed freshman and 9 years later, I've come a long way. I grew up a lot in those 4 years and even more in the 5 years since. It was a perfect song to make me feel proud and I almost want to shed a tear like dang. I may not be where I wanna be but I'm in a pretty good spot.

The boy who left to San Diego optimistic came home mature and grateful to feel the love, give love and share in the growth of others. A classmate said it best. San Diego is a happy place. Everytime I go back there, I smile because the city makes me. She comforted me after the death of my uncle, has inspired me after several vacations and given me renewed passion. Being back down memory lane was a wonderful experience.

L.A. is home but San Diego is my heart. I'm grateful to everyone at my school and city who helped nurture me. You can go home again and it felt better than I thought.

The Alma Mater Under Siege

By now, I'm sure you know that the University of San Diego is mixed up in a bribery/gambling/marijuana scandal where Brandon Johnson, one of the best players in school history, is accused of fixing at least one game while attempting to influence the outcome of another. The feds have already charged 10 folks with it and the NCAA is waiting in the wings to do their own investigation.

I've waited a while to speak my mind because I wasn't sure what to say.  I'll start with this. I went to USD from 2002 to 2006. BJ came along in 2005 and was probably the first player we had since my freshman year who could compete for conference Player of the Year honors. It's no surprise he ended his career as the school's all-time leader in points and assists.

I was a fan of his fearlessness and ability to hit big shots. He led our team into the NCAA Tournament in 2008 where we upset UConn in the 1st round thanks to this shot by De'Jon Jackson. Unfortunately the program went into a downward spiral since that miracle shot.

I know folks who knew Johnson well. He's by all accounts a great guy who wasn't a troublemaker or a jerk. But like most athletes, I know he was probably struggling for cash and that's probably how he got mixed up. I could give you some inside information but I won't sell him out for gossip. It's sad that there's evidence he fixed at least one game in February and perhaps another suspicious game.

No school is perfect and any school is liable to get caught up in dirty activities. But point shaving is serious business. The first time I heard about it was through watching "Blue Chips" as a kid and seeing one of Nick Nolte's players subtlely throw a game. I later read about the CCNY scandal and I found other examples of it.

Former mobster Michael Franzese used to come on Jim Rome's radio show regularly and talk about how easy it was for gamblers to not only approach college athletes but convince them to fix a game. As opposed to deliberately playing like crap, all they had to do was make sure they match the point spread and make subtle mistakes. Players would think it was easy money but then they'd get mixed up and face even more problems.

I'm not surprised how often it's happening. But I am surprised that it hit close to home because it's not like our program is big time or anything. And I'm saddened because while I craved my alma mater would get national attention, I didn't want it like this.

If anything, I just feel rotten because it feels like a bad movie is on display at home and you know the scenery, the players, and the plot all too well. I will say that the school is still a fine university to attend and I hope the NCAA doesn't come with the hammer considering this was done outside of the school's awareness. 

Why I Root for Jim Harbaugh

Back in 2004 in my junior year at the University of San Diego, I need an athletic spark to keep me watching. The previous football season, we won our division but no playoff because of a tiebreaker. The basketball team, defending West Coast Conf champs, went 4-26 and won only 1 game in conference. The joy of being a beautiful school that's barely a blip on the local radar, let alone the regional radar.

We're a tiny Catholic school with almost no athletic tradition outside of baseball. Football is 1-AA, Basketball is playing 2nd fiddle to Gonzaga and outside of baseball, there isn't much to root for.

We needed something to fire up the sports program. And we got it that previous winter hiring a former NFL veteran with zero head coaching experience named Jim Harbaugh. I knew of his NFL cred - that Hail Mary attempt in the 1996 AFC Title Game was one of my first sports memories - but had no idea how'd he be as a coach. It was a big name hire and just maybe we'd see some improvement, if not some buzz.

His first year we went 7-4 but there was an excitement at the games because we an NFL alum leading us and some great players to build around. Some skinny freshman from Oakland named Josh Johnson had me thinking he'd be a Michael Vick type once he developed into his body a little bit. And then it all came together quickly.

The fall of my senior year (2005), the Toreros went 11-1. We became the first team in school and Pioneer League history to beat an Ivy League program, a win that happened on my 21st birthday. We won the Division I-AA Mid-major national championship and Jim Harbaugh was already a legend in 2 seasons.

Next year, we repeated at 11-1 and mid-major national champs. Josh Johnson became one of the top quarterbacks in the nation as a junior as a 1-AA All-American who led the division in 4 categories. For the first time ever, we had national attention on our program and the man we had to thank was Harbaugh.

He left after that season to go to Stanford. Y'all know how that story went, culminating with a 12-1 season this year and a 40-12 pasting of Virginia Tech in the Orange Bowl.

I always root for Harbaugh because before he molded Andrew Luck into an NFL quarterback, he did the same for Johnson, now the backup in Tampa Bay after being the 1st player drafted in school history. Before he built Toby Gerhart into an angry, hard runner that dominated the West Coast, he won in San Diego with similar guys like Evan Harney, JT Rogan and John Polk. Before he made Stanford into a national power that defeated USC twice at home and became a Top-10 team two years straight, he built my alma mater up and made Saturdays worth looking forward to at my school.

He also was kind enough to be interviewed by a friend after the final game of his 2004 season and treat him with as much respect as any other reporter. I held the camera and it was technically my first experience as part of an interview.

I don't know how he'll do in the NFL. Only Jimmy Johnson has successfully transitioned from college to pros. But with a great team in my hated San Francisco 49ers, I wouldn't be surprised if he did well. This is his dream he earned paying plenty of dues and after helping my school achieve unbelievable dreams, I'll keep on rooting for his success.

Congrats Coach. Thank you for helping me have a lil more Torero Pride to end my college career.

What Inspires Me? (Places)

Of all the writers I grew up admiring, they had something in common: They were inspired by the times and the cities around them. Hawthorne had New England, Baldwin had Harlem and France, Dickens had London and Raymond Chandler had my city.

I used to hate traveling. Then in like 2003, I started going to Seattle almost every summer for a weekend. Then I took more trips around the country visiting family and now I wish I could afford to do it more. I made a mental list of four or five cities I want to visit by next year, it's just too bad my bank account didn't go along with my plan. The downside of working part-time now (although I might have some news to tell y'all about some recent developments).

These are the places that inspire me. Something about them makes me want to be there just to feel revitalized or they encourage me. The first and 3rd shots are from my last extended trip to San Diego.

San Diego

My 2nd home. My college town. I've already written about how much I love this city before. Something hits me when I see the city limits on the freeway. When I went down there in January, I was reminded why.

The city revolves around the beach so everything is laid-back. It's a perfect place to get away, relax and just reflect - a calmer pace from Los Angeles and I've written some great poetry there. When I feel like life is getting too insane, I drive down there and just let Saint Daygo do his work.

New York

I went here five years ago for a conference on race and ethnicity as part of a group of student leaders from my school. The trip had its share of highs and lows but I'll remember walking around the city and just soaking in the vibes.

Nothing beats walking through Central Park and taking a nap. Or taking in the different vibes of Spanish Harlem/Harlem/SoHo/Manhattan. Eating Italian food in Little Italy or embracing jaywalking along with the subways.

It was a fast-paced city but it had plenty of culture that was distinct yet shared. Like San Diego, it inspired me to find something similar in L.A. - you can feel the sense of what being a New Yorker is about. That sense of identity spurs me on today.

The Beach

I love sitting by the water and just listen or watch. See what comes next. Hear the waves play with the sand. Standing at the edge of the world and seeing life as it was meant to be. I've written quite a few poems and journal entries here.

This is my place of peace. My sanctuary. My escape from reality where I can just admire God's beauty and reflect.

Los Angeles

Gotta admit, I have a love/hate relationship with my city. It's something I've been meaning to explain on here but for the last 4 years I realized I had no idea what it meant to be an Angeleno. I tried to come back inspired from San Diego and yet carving my life out here has been harder than it looked.

I love my city because there's pride in being from here. I hate it because it's hard to find its soul and a common identity. Hollywood gets all the love and the Valley gets attention too what about the Westside (Santa Monica, Culver City), South Central or South Bay. Maybe that's why I love Quentin Tarantino's movies so much since they usually have L.A. tied in to them but I digress.

Despite all that, I'm still inspired to find a life here. I'm inspired to fully understand what makes my city tick and find the soul of it. Raymond Chandler might be my city's official scribe with his detective noir tales but I still believe in finding my own stories about here. Love/hate, she's mine.

Next Up, People

End of an Era (Thank you L.T.)

It was the saddest I've felt since Emmitt Smith started a decline with the Cowboys. LaDainian Tomlinson telling the San Diego Union Tribune today that his career with the Chargers is over. Even though we saw it coming, it's still sad it has to end this way.

I'll get to the numbers in a minute but I'll share some personal testimonies. Coming to San Diego for college in 2002, I never saw a city rally around a team like they did the Chargers and I had just left a city fresh off a Lakers three-peat. I had never been around a football environment before in person so I was dazzled by the love the city had for its team. At the center of it all was Tomlinson - who I saw demolish the WAC at TCU in high school and only happened to be there because the team traded away the No. 1 pick for Michael Vick.

(I always wonder what if that trade never went down....Vick becomes a freak in San Diego? Does LT have the career he does in Atlanta? And what about Drew Brees, who was drafted in the 2nd round? - that trade affected three teams if you count New Orleans)

The city loved LT like they loved any of their past icons. Tony Gwynn is Mr. Padre and you almost forget that he earned his stripes in Long Beach, he's a San Diego icon. Same with Kellen Winslow, Trevor Hoffman, Pastor Miles McPherson of the Rock Church down there - if you played sports and made an impact, you are beloved. And LT earned it with his charity work and friendly persona.

In 2007 and 2008, after I started working for the paper I had the chance to meet LT at this local radio award show for ESPN. I almost didn't want to be in a picture with him but I'm glad I did. He greeted everyone warmly and in 08 when I asked him about his injury, he was gracious to share how his recovery was going. It's still one of the highlights of my career (and yes, this is the first pic of myself I've posted on the blog)

On the field, his work speaks for itself. 8th all time in rushing yards, 3rd in total TD's, holds several NFL records (including most TD's (rushing and overall) in a season). One of the greatest scorers the game has ever seen and one of the greatest seasons in league history - his MVP season of 2006 that was absolutely special to behold.

I remember when he set the season TD record, he said he wanted his linemen there to share it. He wasn't showy but always businesslike and he earned the respect of his peers and NFL legends for it.

I saw the decline in 2008 when he couldn't go in the AFC Title game. The season after was a tough grind where Darren Sproles became the bigger go-to-guy showing off speed that Tomlinson started losing. Then came the playoff win against Indy where Sproles dominated and LT was on the sidelines. I said before the year that if he wanted to save his career, the team needed to split carries. But the speed wasn't there, the burst was gone and he was reduced to a power back most of the year.

The end was near and no matter how much Chargers fans wanted him to stay, we knew that LT was no longer what he was. The running game was a liability, no longer a strength, And at least he was classy enough to make his decision so the team can draft a solid tailback in the upcoming draft.

For a city that has seen too many of its players leave early (Rodney Harrison, Junior Seau, the aforementioned Hoffman), LT joins the list of players who left their mark in the 619 but won't close the final chapter of their book there. He was easily my favorite player of the decade and it's fitting he reminded me of Emmitt Smith (my all-time favorite) because he idolized him growing up in Texas.

Stay classy, LT. Good luck with the rest of your career and Chargers fans everywhere - especially in San Diego - thank you for the memories.

A Date With Sandy (In Words + Images)

Sorry for the delay on this guys - this past week i was battling a cold and I just didn't feel like doing much outside of drinking tea and fighting it off. Always a bugger about this time of year.

I didn't forget about writing about my vacation last week. The last few days gave me some time to really think about why I love going to San Diego and maybe an understanding of something else. All metaphors make sense at some point.

The first day with Sandy had me smiling from the moment I left my driveway until I ended it in my hotel. It was a clear day and I had +44 blasting on the drive (Mark and Travis from Blink-182's side project). Something about sitting peacefully in Mission Bay in the middle of the day just had me feeling like I was free.

Had lunch in Little Italy (quote Big Pun's classic line) and went to the Cabrillo National Monument where the Spanish explorer Juan Cabrillo discovered San Diego Bay. Besides the beauty of seeing a part of the city I've never seen, I was in awe of seeing the Point Loma Lighthouse, which has been there since the 19th century.

I came to the hotel and surprisingly killed time watching of all people Sean Hannity interview Sarah Palin. Why, I dont know. Then had dinner with a friend who surprised me by taking me to a driving range - I've never hit a golf ball before so that was pretty fun - and then showed me a side of Coronado Beach that exposed the San Diego downtown skyline at night.

One word, beautiful. Sitting on the dock of the Bay like Otis Redding and I felt like whistling and reflecting.

Day 2 with Sandy was cloudy but I still hit up Mission Beach. It's funny, in San Diego, everything revolves around the beach - I saw people in T-shirts and shorts, I saw suits. That's how it is down there. That's why I love the city - it's a slower pace where almost everyone keeps things in perspective.

Oh yeah, I went to my alma mater, the University of San Diego. I had to see the new wing they built on campus in the student center and I was impressed. A bigger cafeteria, a bigger student supermarket - yep our tuition dollars at work.

But this right here pissed me off. There were parking meters at the back of campus - PARKING METERS! I know private schools can do what they want but this is brand new, just another way for them to make money. It even had a credit card slot in there. C'mon man, parking is bad enough on that campus but having to pay for it now? You gotta be kidding.

And one word, if you ever visit my second home. Get some carne asada fries. It's a must.

I ended the night like any good date on a Friday night - at one of her best clubs, Stingaree. Alchemist was spinning down there and he was putting in work mixing dope songs together - although I was bummed because they didnt announce him and the crowd appeared indifferent despite the fact everyone enjoyed the music.

(Sidenote: I'm realizing as I get older than I have a harder time walking up to girls and dancing with them. Thats a main difference with guys and girls at a club or in life - all girls have to do is tell guys no, while guys have to find someone who'll say yes. Its hard all around and the fear of rejection is real)

Day 3 started with some waffles and ended with some football. In between, I visited Coronado Island during the day and it's easily one of the best spots on the West Coast. When you have the natural beauty of clean sands and mini dunes plus one of the finest hotels in America and beautiful homes, you have a paradise.

My recommendation - go watch a game at Seau's (Junior Seau's spot) or a good bar down in Pacific Beach. It was a short trip but it was worth it just to get another taste of my 2nd home.

When I got home, I told somebody that it was like a secret rendezvous with my favorite mistress. I felt at peace, I feel excited, I feel refreshed and I feel free - just like I can be myself and have no worries. Just being around the water is like being renewed without being baptized.

It's almost like everything I would want in a great relationship. The peace of mind, the smiles - all of that is what I would want from a girl. San Diego gives me things I can't measure and I give her my time and a special place in my heart.

You can't artificially create internal joy - it has to be real. And that's why I keep going back there. It's a sign of peace that I hope to find personally in someone else and it always holds a place in my heart for helping me grow into who i am.

A Date With Sandy (In Pictures)

So I went to San Diego this past week for a few days of rest and reflection. I can't stress it enough how much I love being there and how I feel like I'm free. I'm gonna do two things. First, give yall some visual evidence of my love. Then, I'm gonna share some of my thoughts tomorrow - my girl NaijaCandy on twitter made my mind start churning like she usually does and I felt excited to talk about it.

Can we call this evidence of a love affair? Guilty as charged. Her name is Sandy and yes, I cheated on LaLa with her - for a couple of days. And I liked it!

I tasted her sweet winds at Mission Beach where even on a cloudy day, she was still lovely.

I saw her finest home - one of the prettiest hotels in America. The Hotel Del Coronado, she wanted to invite me in but oh no, I had to refuse (plus I couldn't afford her tab)

She showed me how beautiful downtown can be from the other side. Unfortunately I don't have pics of her at night but trust me, she's so much prettier under the lights.

She took me to one of her highest points and showed me her beautiful shores from another angle. The angle that her earliest discoverers once saw. This is Cabrillo Nat'l Monument

And naturally she took me to the best place to watch a sunset - Sunset Cliffs. Yes, I enjoyed re-exploring her natural beauty.

I got more pics on my facebook page but this is a nice tease. It's called America's Finest City for a reason.

Why I Love San Diego

Although my heart's a bit heavy from the events of this week, I'm finding a bit of peace in San Diego right now. Since today was a good day running around the city and my alma mater (and seeing two of my awesome professors, I'll present my San Diego blog that I promised detailing why I really love this city and why it holds a place in my heart.






It started when I was 1 and Mom, I guess, took a vacation down there. I only know this because I saw a picture at my college graduation – me with a backwards lid standing somewhere in Old Town (Bazaar Del Mundo). I guess we took another trip a few years later because I saw another photo that looked like me at 4 smiling somewhere. The seeds were planted early.

The first San Diego trip that I really remember was when Mom took me and my sister to the Princess Resort (now Paradise Point) when I was 8 or 9. That was a fun time because I remember in awe of how beautiful the resort was, how beautiful the sky was and just being able to hang around and enjoy the atmosphere. Mom still has a magnet from that trip and it just reminds me of one of the best weeks of my young life.

Of course, that was the infamous Sea World trip aka Attack of the Killer Sea Gulls. I had just bought some fish to feed some of the sea lions and next thing I know, I’m falling the floor as these gulls dive-bombed me like some kamikaze pilots. Lost all my fish and went crazy…not a pretty sight and definitely an embarrassing moment.


Another trip came in 1996 (I remember it well because it was during the week of the Democratic National Convention). We went to Sea World as we stayed on a 3-day weekend right before school. But the most ironic trip came the following year I think. We stayed at the Town and Country Resort for a week and my sis and I attended a bowling camp at the YMCA near us. Little did I know that I’d be coming back near the Mission Valley YMCA and get all too familiar with that part of town.



Which brings me up to 2001. I hadn’t been to San Diego since junior high and now my college counselor is telling me to apply to the University of San Diego because it’s similar to Pepperdine and what I like. Of course I never heard of the school and of course we take the journey and the rest is history. I accept the letter after much haggling and we all go to College Visiting Day and see a topless chick sunbathing…just one more piece of motivation for me to be there.

I wrote a poem about the excitement to leave – a series I continued before my sophomore and senior years. It only heightened the sense that I was ready for this next stage of life.

So I arrive to the campus in August 2002. I’ll never forget the day: I was the first to wake up and I threw open the blinds of our La Jolla hotel just taking in the view of my new city. It was a cloudy day and I remember listening to Incubus’ “Morning View” album as my Dad drove us up to campus. I remember the day so vividly that talking about it here would be a blog post in itself. But it was a day I wouldn’t forget…among the events were taking the last family picture of the four of us.

During my four years at USD, I discovered myself and a group of valuable friends. I created memories that will last forever: Watching the sunsets at Mission Beach and La Jolla, watching the Sea World fireworks show from a balcony, having real conversations with all kinds of folks. I’ll remember the taste of carne asada fries, fish tacos, a smoothie from Rose’s Donuts, the feel of Qualcomm Stadium and Petco Park. Sitting in Aromas, Maher Hall (my freshman dorm below), the Vistas and Manchester Village and feeling the vibes.

But what I loved most was San Diego had a culture of its own. It felt like a different world from Los Angeles although it was only two hours away. It was a different Southern California than what I was used to. It was a laid-back small town with a big city feel. There was an easy pace and rhythm that allowed you to feel welcome and find your footing. For the first time, I saw a city that was taken captive on Sundays by an NFL team. All of this made me feel like I was in the middle of something new and I loved every minute of it.

When I left, I was inspired to try to create my life in L.A. I wanted to get to know my city better and be able to be a better tour guide.

To me, San Diego will always be my 2nd home. It’s a place that I find peace in and it feels like that friend that you’ll never get tired of. I joked freshman year that I would get a place down here as a vacation home and who knows, maybe I still will. But it’s always been a place of clarity, pleasant memories and personal growth. Maybe that’s why the seeds were planted so long ago….I haven’t stopped taking care of this plant and it’s blossomed into a beautiful flower that I always carry with me.