Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Football Wrap Week 14 - Bizarro Sunday

When I got out of church Sunday, I did my usual thing and checked the NFL scores since I always miss the early morning games. My eyes couldn’t believe what happened and it felt like the 14th games of the season were a trip through the Twilight Zone. A recap.

Packers lose to…the Chiefs?? New coach, new QB in Kyle Orton. They didn’t just beat the Packers, they made them look average. The Packers looked completely uptight while losing for the 1st time in a year. No reason to worry though.

Colts…win?? This shocked me more than the Packers losing but to happen on the same day? Donald Brown’s 80-yard run to clinch the win was a thing of beauty. But dang Tennessee, ya’ll had to be the patsies to spoil a winless season.

Chad Ochocinco scored?? How many mothballs were both of them boys under before they finally emerged to score. I tripped out seeing #85 actually catch a ball and actually get tin the end zone.

The Panthers ran a play…inspired by “The Annexation of Puerto Rico???" (Blast Youtube for no embedding).  Little Giants was one of my favorites growing up so props to Ron Rivera and the Panthers' offensive coordinator for pulling this off.

The Pride of Compton Dominguez HS, Richard Sherman had an interception for Seattle Sunday.

Seattle put up 35….on the Bears??? I know Caleb Hanie is their quarterback but this is still the Bears defense right?

San Francisco saw the lights go out TWICE! And then turned out Pittsburgh’s lights.

Reggie Bush had 200+ yards??? I hadn’t seen him run that happy in ages and it looked like the USC Bush. Quiet as kept, dude is close to 1,000 yards on the ground for the first time ever and Miami looks like the fountain of youth for running backs. Ask Ricky Williams.

5 players scored for the Pats and not one of them was Rob Gronkowski, the league leader in TD’s. Outside of a big catch, Gronk was MIA.

The Eagles scored 45 points…on the Jets??  And Brent Celek /(above) had 153 yards after being forgotten this year? Read that again, 45 Points on the JETS!!! You need to convince me that happened.

My Chargers blasted the Ravens….by 20?? I nearly lost my mind walking out of church tonight cause I expected Baltimore to put up a fight and for Joe Flacco not to look shook. Antuan Barnes repped the name right with 4 sacks.

Yet somehow, there was some normalcy in all of this wackiness....

Calvin Johnson had 200 yards and 2 TD’s. And he was facing his usual double/triple teams vs. Oakland. And he faces my Chargers next week. YIKES!!!

Men At Work (c) Kool G Rap - Brady and Belichick did what they do best. Make inferior talent look silly.

Tom Brady beats Tebow. Big ups to the Patriots D forcing turnovers and Brady showing why making mistakes against him will cost you. All is right in the NFL universe thanks to New England and Tebow looking lost on a few scrambles showed why he’s not all the way there.

My teams shined in big wins. Dallas beating Tampa Bay with ease to move closer to clinching the NFC East. Phillip Rivers extended his December record to 23-2 and keep the Chargers in the hunt. But Calvin Johnson boy.....

The Bills guaranteed another losing season. Remember how cool it was that they were 5-2? They haven’t won since. I'm gonna keep paraphrasing Chris Berman: “Nobody….circles the drain…..like the Buffalo Bills”

Drew Brees destroyed the Vikings (304 yards away from Dan Marino’s 5,000 yard record) – Every time I look up, it seems like the Saints always beat the Vikings. And a record that I always thought Kurt Warner, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady will pass will be done by a guy the Chargers gave up on too soon.

The Giants continuing their downward spiral after the Cowboys helped get them out of it. The flip side of Eli Manning’s comebacks is that the Giants have been inconsistent all year. Can’t Truss Em Like Public Enemy said.

To add to all the madness, I started Doug Baldwin (Seattle) and Percy Harvin (Minnesota) on my fantasy team in the playoffs. They combined for a grand total of 5 points. Meanwhile I sat Brandon Marshall and Donald Brown, who combined for 47 points. I ended up losing my matchup by TWO points.

Bizarro Sunday, ladies and gents. I had no words for it.

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