Let's Break It Down: Why Do Gooood Girls, Like Bad Guuuuys (c) DMX

(Sidenote: I met this guy on my college football team and he was a laidback cat for a while. 5 mins later, he busts out singing this song in the title (DMX "Good Girls, Bad Guys") as his anthem. This big 6-3 dude just acting a fool and singing that female part. On to my take)

I got into a good conversation on Twitter with a friend over the weekend about this old adage. Good girls always want bad boys. It's been a dilemma for me since high school because I consider myself a good guy but instead of telling you about me, I'd rather examine this whole bad boy deal.

When girls say they want bad boys, what they really mean is - they want a guy with balls who won't back down. They want a dude who's not afraid to get his hands dirty. They want a dude who's a lil spontaneous and not predictable. They don't want a guy who's mushy, too sensitive but still knows how to show his love.

They don't want a real bad boy who's gonna disrespect them and allow them to make excuses that it's out of love. They don't want a man with a record who's doing things that'll get him thrown back in the clink. They don't want a dude who's gonna bring them down and cause more headaches than good times.

So in essence, they want a good guy who's not boring, willing to be spontaneous, not soft and creative. Got it?

The term "bad boy" is really subjective. It's a dig at guys who would give girls the respect they'd deserve but it's also a challenge to do more than just be a "friend." Either way, women need to give good dudes a chance and stop trying to find a guy who's bad for your personal expense.

Don't shortchange them and ultimately don't shortchange yourselves. It all comes down to the same thing that we all should look for in a person worth dating -balance.

*Fellas, the same applies to you too. I just tackled this issue for women cause it's something I've thought about for years.

The Single Life - In the Wrong City?

I've been single for the past year and it's given me a lot of time to think about what I want in my next relationship. It's funny, you spend time looking at your friends, listening to girls talk about bad relationships or bad guys and you feel like you have a better of what to be and not to be.

But of course, you also spend time looking at your options and I realized that this year I've gotten closer with more ladies on Twitter than in my own city. My life pretty much revolves around work, home and church and thankfully, I got my bowling crew to make a Friday/Saturday night great. So my chances of dating aren't too great - kinda hard meeting people as a sports reporter.

Then last week I read this article about the dating climate of Los Angeles. It almost confirmed my feelings about how tough it is in the city - especially the distance factor. My last ex was serious when she we were in a long distance relationship (I was in Inglewood, she in Long Beach), it was a 30 minute drive down to her.

It's hard meeting somebody here because the city is so big and if you're lucky to meet someone who lives close to you, you hope that it works. Plus given that L.A. is a car-driven culture with bad metro system - the only time we share a sense of community is on the freeway during traffic or if the Lakers do well.

What it's done is make my wonder if I should give more thought to pursuing my career/life outside of L.A. Maybe there's more options for meeting people in a different city. Maybe being on my own would give me a sense of independence and drive that I had in San Diego.

Being a professional means its tough to meet people outside of your field. I've known this since I got my job three years ago and while I wouldnt mind dating someone related to my business, there's a big relief in leaving work behind and enjoying time with someone who has no ties to it.

So it's almost comforting that I've found people to relate with on Twitter in CA and around the country. But at the same time, it's left me wishing I could have more tangible contact here within my immediate circle.

Part of me is glad that I've sat on the sidelines to watch. And yet I look around and wonder about my chances. But then again maybe I need to take my wisdom and just apply it better around here. Who knows.