Friday, August 13, 2010

I Present...The Death....of the 2010 Dodgers

(A Ball of Confusion Finally Comes Undone)

*Dodgers fan file into Chavez Ravine, dressed in Blue. The fine organist Nancy Bea Headley plays a funeral dirge as yours truly steps to the microphone in a somber mood*

We've come today to bury the 2010 Dodgers season - a season expected to be a struggle experts said. But nobody could've foreseen this ending coming.

We thought they were dead last week after San Diego laid a thrashing on them. They tried to fight their way back with some hope, but like a wagon with its wheels barely hanging on, you knew it was gonna end badly at some point.

Let the record show time of death was around 8 p.m. PST - after closer Jonathan Broxton faced his 4th batter with 0 outs and promptly allowed a long hit to left-center field to end the Phillies 2-inning, 8-run rally (my fingers cringe typing that). Detectives will also find fingerprints of Ronald Belisario (gave up 4 runs in the 8th) and Casey Blake (a costly error) from last night's slaughter.

(I read tweets and said no. I read the box score and said NOOOOOOOOOOOO. I watched Sportscenter and was speechless. How in the world do you blow a 7-run lead with 6 outs to go? How do you not get anybody out in the 9th inning before you throw gasoline on a lit fuse??)

Broxton might also have evidence of rattled nerves and shell shock after being back in Philadelphia - site of his blown save in last year's NLCS and the team he also blew a save against in 2008. Stats against Philly: 9.82 ERA and 3 blown saves. No secret he gets scared when he sees that P on a jersey.

(This is playing on Jonathan Broxton's I-pod as the team lands in Atlanta)

But an autopsy will show why the Dodgers were on life support since the All-Star Break - not enough spirit at the plate where they couldn't score often and watched better teams put up runs on an overworked, tired bullpen.

Perhaps the murderer all along was Joe Torre - the touted team builder in charge of overworking his bullpen. If his fingerprints are all over Broxton and Sherrill getting no rest, then it's his fault for that overlooked flaw of going to the pen far too often and not let his starters finish the course.

(Quiet as kept: The Dodgers starters have started to come around - esp. Vicente Padilla. The last signs of life came when Padilla pitched a brilliant 2-hitter last week against San Diego. Like a wounded animal getting one last good shot before being killed).

Detectives might bring in Matt Kemp for questioning - he of the Silver Slugger/Gold Glove last year whose numbers have dropped sharply after a great April. His fielding now looks middle of the road and struggling to grow has been a huge problem for fans and coaches.

(Ushers should pass this around Dodgers Stadium)

By the way, Blame the coaches for making him a public example by benching him. This reeks of what happened to Orlando Hudson last year. You go down fighting with your best - benchings should help in slumps but this feels personal like the staff gave up on him. Kemp's gotta get better and put it together but airing him out publicly and singling him out is not the answer (Ned Colletti already saw this backfire earlier this year)

Whatever the case, this team can't score enough runs to save its life. Mannywood was quietly whitewashed away, ending a great two-year run that will see Manny part ways not a beloved hero but thanks for the memories, adios guy. Russell Martin added weight and became more injury prone this year - another sharp slide from his great 2007 season.

James Loney and Andre Ethier have arguably been our most consistent hitters but they've struggled in the 2nd half and it reminds us that our best power hitters aren't even threats to hit 30 home runs.

It's been frustrating to watch this team not build on the youthful promise they have. They have great pitching but Chad Billingsley and Clayton Kershaw are not the solid aces yet. And like I said, when Vicente Padilla is your best pitcher (doing the same thing Randy Wolf and Derek Lowe the last two years), you're in trouble.

Ted Lilly has tried to stop the bleeding with 2 great outings after his trade, but he's walked into a team that's been bleeding nonstop for 3 weeks. Thanks for the Band-Aid, though.

Maybe this year had a bad omen stemming from the impending divorce of the owners during the NLCS. Frank and Jamie McCourt's messy breakup has put this team in financial limbo as well as making us wonder if they'll still keep the team.

Either way, the season's over. We're playing for pride from here on out. Last night was a game that drives a man to drink, kick his dog and curl into a ball after watching the highlights. See you next spring, get better and find some more live bats.

Epilogue from Yahoo Sports MLB Blog: The Dodgers should just donate the rest of their games to charity


  1. Sad. Very sad. I don't things are gonna get any better. 2011 seems like it may be worse than 2010.

    BTW,love the "Shook Ones" reference. "The Infamous" is a classic.

  2. We are starting to feel it a bit on the other coast too man...It hurts.

    -"THE" Red Sox Fan

  3. I thoroughly enjoyed reading about the demise of the Dodgers, I still call 'em Dem Bums, can't help it. I don't keep up with baseball like I used to, but when I lived in Los Angeles I was a regular at Chavez Ravine, I even saw a game at the old coliseum. They played the Giants and lost. Damnit. I hated the Giants.