Thursday, May 13, 2010

Maxim Hot 100?? Let me fix that list a bit

The annual Maxim Hot 100 came out and if any real man read the list they would've been disappointed. Katy Perry's #1????

I did a MySpace blog on KP back in 08 and she's by far the hottest pop star to come out in the last two years - especially compared to Mr. Gaga and that dusty hag known as Ke$ha. That spread she did for Complex Magazine was FIRE as you can see above. But seriously, the hottest woman of the year?

She's got style, she's got sass, she's got charm - her live singing is suspect, dope cover of Electric Feel, terrible at the Grammys - but she's cute and you know how much I love my fellow 1984 babies. If a real man ranked her on their list she'd probably be in the 15-25 range. But let's peep the rest of this list.

Top 10: KP, Brooklyn Decker (YES), Zoe Saldana (okay), Blake Lively (the heck?), Megan Fox (YES), Rihanna (smh), Elisabetta Canalis (George Clooney stamp of approval), Olivia Munn (YES), Kim Kardashian (over her), Marisa Miller (SI Stamp of approval).

No Scarlett Johansson (14) or Olivia Wilde (20)? Really? Counselor, please present your evidence to expose this weak list.

Tony Stark said it best "I want one"

She can operate on me any day. And she's an 84 baby like me and Scarlett? WIN.

Any man that wouldn't take over them over Lively (Leighton Meester's hotter at 17) or Rihanna needs to check his manhood at the door. Oh but it gets better.

Peep the Top 20-30: Mila Kunis (22), Nicole from Pussycat Dolls (24), Eliza Dushku (26) Hilary Duff (27 and maturing VERY nicely), Kaley Cuoco (28 from Big Bang Theory). But Katy Perry's #1? Suuuure.

She likes to roll with guys named E. My gov't name starts with E. You do the math.

The good thing about Maxim's list is that the bottom 50 is usually packed with quality goodness. Emmanuelle Chriqui (above, Sloan from "Entourage"), Gabrielle Union, Yvonne Strahovski ("Chuck"), and a WILDLY underrated Anna Paquin (watch True Blood and tell me she doesn't burn it up). For my fellow Flash Forward fans, Peyton List (our favorite babysitter turned nurse) is there at 66.

I'd take Kristen Bell at 52 over half the chicks above her. And what grown man is really checking for Taylor Swift as a hottie? Then again, I never would've expected Amanda Bynes to look like this

(I hope Miley Cyrus saw her spread in Maxim - THAT's how you mature, not trying to grind on some grown man at 17.)

Oh yeah, major omissions: Beyonce, Halle Berry, Rachel McAdams. But somehow Ke$ha made the list at 56 over Lindsey Vonn, Gabby Union and Erin Andrews (overrated but looks much better in person). *rolls eyes and swallows gasoline mouthwash*

Compare this to's 99 Most Desirable Women list - there's a lot more thought that goes into list than just looks. You may be hot but to be desirable, you have to have a lot more to offer. Their list is actually way more reputable lately if you ask me.

Here's the Maxim list. What say you? I'm insanely jealous of Russell Brand for wifing up Katy Perry by the way.

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