Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Vincent Vega - How not to be a Hitman

(If you haven't seen Pulp Fiction, SPOILER ALERT!!!!!)

Meet Vincent Vega. The co-star of Pulp Fiction with his partner in crime Jules Winfield. The reason John Travolta's career exists to my generation. A hitman so cool, he gets asked to escort the wife of the baddest boss alive without fear of retaliation. But upon further review as I rewatched Pulp Fiction tonight, Vince has gotta be the dumbest hitman in film history. In order of storyline, not appearance.

1) He shoots a kid in broad daylight in a car. This is bad on two levels. First, how are you that dumb to carelessly shoot somebody in the middle of the day. Second, you're a HITMAN. Supposedly you're trained to use a weapon and be smart about it otherwise you'd be out of a job and in a cell. Can't properly secure a piece? STUPID!

2) After said accident, you get help from Mr. Wolf. But instead of listening and thanking him for help, you start questioning it like you think there's another way. Wasn't it your fault you got in this role? Now you think you got answers? Man, please. That's why you're a foot soldier, not a boss. STUPID!

3) Later, Vince leaves his loaded heroine in his coat pocket. No reasonable drug user would leave his dope on him cause if you get caught, drug possession is a major crime. Not to mention arousing super curious wives of criminal bosses and bothering people in the middle of the night. STUPID!

Now at this point, he's already affected most of the major characters with his questionable decision making. But somehow, he's avoided any windfall to himself. Only delayed the inevitable. Here's the grand finale.

4) Vince is on assignment to kill Butch (Bruce Willis). Waiting around for a target can be boring. So what does Vinny do? Head to the bathroom. WITHOUT YOUR GUN! He left it lying on the table where of course nobody will think to grab it - oh, hey Butch! What cha got there?

(BTW, Butch used a silencer via toaster. Dude was a smarter killer than you were)

The world's worst hitman deserved to die for being terrible at his job. This dude couldn't handle a weapon properly, can't hide his drugs better, can't take advice cause he's blind to his screwups and finally, bites the dust because he left his weapon out in broad daylight.

Too cool for school Vinny? Maybe you should've stuck around and learned the basics. Be subtle, know your weapon and take orders. And for goodness sakes, don't let your weapon out of your sight. To paraphrase Bobby Knight, death was inevitable so I guess that's why you sat back and enjoyed it.

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