Wednesday, September 16, 2009

25 Laps In A Stream of Consciousness

I’m sitting in my room listening to Incubus’ Morning View. I’m letting the sounds of one of my favorite albums surround me as I realize I’m finally here.

I’m finally turning 25 and it couldn’t come any sooner. In a year that was more up and down than any I expected being back home, it’s time to reach this silver number but all I could do was think about something I’ve thought for a few years.

I’ve reached the age that most of favorite rappers wrote some of their best work. Five years ago, I realized I was the same age Nas was when he wrote Illmatic, his masterpiece and when I listened to his verse on “Life’s a B---h”, it spoke to me as a young man waking up on his birthday making the most of his life and environment.

"I woke up early on my born day, I'm twenty years of blessing. The essence of adolescent leaves my body now I'm fresh in. My physical frame is celebrated cause I made it. One quarter through life some God-ly like thing created" - Irony cause i was born at 6.a.m.

Now I’m the same age as Tupac when he was murdered 13 years ago and just passed the age of Notorious B.I.G. before he died. Just thinking about what they accomplished in their short lives is impressive and although there was far more they could have done, they still made a great impact we feel today.

I’m looking at my life lately and I realize that I feel very blessed to have experienced what I have so far. It’s funny how mature I thought I was at 18 and thanks to my time with Saint Diego, I realized I had a lot to learn and lot of growing to do with different personalities.

I feel like I’ve come a long way and there’s still so far to go. There’s still more to accomplish and there’s still challenges that await me (none greater than finding my own place and perhaps explore other job options).

The plan is still the same. Make a difference in this life, never stop challenging myself and don’t settle for the bare minimum or anything less than my best. But I am so excited to see what happens in the next year, the next decade.

"I want to see miracles, see the world change. Wrestled the angel, for more than a name. For more than a feeling. For more than a cause. I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You. And You're raising the dead in me." - Switchfoot

"Life is not what I thought it was 24 hours ago....and I'm not who I thought I was 24 hours ago."

I didn’t understand why Switchfoot called that song “24” after lead singer Jon Foreman was about to turn 25. I heard it and felt like it spoke to me turning 24 last year. But now I hear it and it speaks loudly to me about wondering on my place in this world.

I want to keep finding my voice. I want to discover new things. I want to keep inspiring people. I want to keep searching…and I won’t stop believing until I find it.

25. Wow. I know that sounded really deep and you probably wanted some wit and funny stuff about what I remember. Maybe later…right now I want to reflect and give this moment it’s due. Are these tears coming down? Why? I wish I could honestly say.

In a perfect world, I wouldn’t be celebrating this in a hotel, going to the DMV tomorrow to renew my license and hoping that nothing bad happens at my job. But if anything is the story of my life, it’s been getting used to the unexpected and embracing it instead of running from it.

So here I come - get ready for another year of progress, change and personal development.

1 comment:

  1. Congratulations...

    You are an earnest post. written well and simply.

    But having past the 25 mark, you'll soon find "age" is just a number.. substance is more important.

    Nobody else is Big or Pac... I thought about this myself a few years ago..they were huge at 17/18/19 they were prepared for their lives and kismet does what it wants.

    Anyway, won't ramble on. Happy (belated) Birthday.. don't have a quarter life crisis, you'll need all your sanity for 26-30. lol