Thursday, August 20, 2009

Poetry Corner (Pool of Regret/Gray Clouds)

Pool of Regret

Stuck with my decision
Relying on my intuition
I’m here lying in a pool in regret
Soaked with thoughts filling my head
Before I drown, I hear a faint sound
Small voices trying to reconnect my senses
I’m in too deep, too dazed to respond
My body is numb
One word, a fleeting question
Briefly brings me oxygen
Like a spark
More words are added
Why did I let this happen?
This pocket of air gives misleading hope
I toss and turn trying to breathe but things get worse
Random thoughts start to disorient
Why am I here?
I thought I was fine before
My frantic body resembles my frantic mind
Out of control
My mind’s playing tricks like a jester
Laughing at my pain while adding to it
Hindsight now creeps in
Always in 20/20 vision
Can’t ignore it while I’m here
In this pool of regret
Lying facedown
Waiting to recover
Or end up drowned

Gray Clouds
Gray clouds fill the sky
Rain falls down
Acid to my soul which pollutes my mood
The sun which once reigned supreme
Is now conquered by a foul villain
He cares not for how I was
His goal is to drown with showers
Kill any joy that gave me power
Destroy hope’s flowers that filled my field
I know not when they will leave
For I detest its effect on me
The sun feels so far away
Where has it gone?
When will it return?
Gray clouds have pierced my heart
Surrounding it with hollow bark
The tree of shade now covers my soul
I crave light but this shade feels comfortable
Either I’m lazy or resigned to my current state
Maybe I’m confused, can’t you tell?
Gray clouds have blurred my focus
Truth feels odd and like nonsense
Light is bad while dark feels good
A temporary feeling that changes so much
Mind gets warped and I let it happen
I contribute to the rain and the clouds of grey
Refusing to fight, I became an ally
Now I alone can turn the tide
Force the clouds to leave the sky
Return the sun to its proper place
But before that, I wallow in this filth
Not knowing where I go from here
The sky is still grey and still I hear a voice say
There’s no escape from these clouds today

I wrote both of these while studying for finals (5/17/06) after I broke up with my girlfriend at the time. Both of them dark, both of them sad - I had a lot of sadness and regret in my mind. Two different poems saying the same thing. The irony is that after I wrote these two, I wrote a third that's more optimistic and pretty much is the manifesto of a poet - it's the best therapy.

I don't like writing dark stuff but sometimes, you have to go with the flow. I love the metaphor of the first one and the second is all about creating the mood.

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