Stop the Clock on Ke$ha

First off, I wanna apologize to any fans of Ke$ha out there. I'm sorry you all like a sassy chick who can't sing worth a lick (or isn't showing it that well)

So last month, I saw the LA Times music blog geek her up as a face to watch for 2010. Of course, since I barely listen to the radio, I had no idea what this song was - probably something for girls to like similar to Lady Gaga (don't get me started on her). They also mentioned she's from the San Fernando Valley, which is a key buzzword for them to ride her jock.

I give the Times credit - they go hard for local artists. It's a big reason why I'm a fan of the Silversun Pickups because they got talked about so much there, it added to me liking their music.

Anyways, they were giving her a lot of shine and even had their lead critic review her album. I read an interview she gave with the New York Times and figured I'd give her song a listen so I'd know what I was dissing. Especially since she had the No. 1 song and album in the country.

Red flags: I saw the words hip-hop and auto-tune before I even heard the song (*cringe). If there's two things I hate in music right now, it's auto-tune and White girls pop-rapping. Thank you Fergie :(

Long story short, Ke$ha auto-tune talks her way through her verses with that typical White girl poser/swagger and then her simple hook kicks in. First off, how are you a singer and you can't sing your verses? I mean dang, this chick would barely pass through American Idol based on that song.

As far as that rapping? I mean the bar is pretty low for skill these days but still there's no flow. Rapping is NOT talking. I'd rather listen to Nicki Minaj and have my ears cringe than this. And that's my biggest problem - she calls this rap and everyone's gonna talk about her new spin on the genre EXCEPT SHE'S NOT RAPPING. Singing on a Flo-Rida track does not mean you have the license to rap.

(Rapping is not just making words rhyme and talking. It's about a flow and rhythm just like any other music. 30 years later and mainstream music critics still can't tell the difference.)

Funny that 10 years ago we had Fred Durst and Papa Roach's Coby Dick rapping at the peak of nu-metal, rap-rock. Now I guess we have White girls doing the same - and to be fair, I'm not dissing White girls who can ACTUALLY rap. It's more a diss at Fergie's entire style that Ke$ha is running with.

It's an embarrasment to Blondie's "Rapture" when it gets mentioned in the same breath as this - Debbie Harry and the rest of the group was immersed in the hip-hop culture when it started. She had a typical flow like most rappers of the day so the hip-hop community loved it.

Ke$ha's cred? Just listen to this quote from the NY Times: “Rap in general has never been my steez, but I like it.”

So she's doing it for kicks and giggles. *rolls eyes* That explains it all. But of course, what does it matter. It's a catchy song that fits in with all the other synthesizer-pop on the radio now. Lady Gaga has spawned her first daughter - butterface and all. No lie, I had a hard time finding a photo I could actually try to get y'all look at without cringing.

Oh yeah, that NY Times article is a good read, a lil bit of slobbery but just adds to why I don't like her. It sounded like she's doing this for a joke but the author is talking about her changing the sound of rap. Riiiiiiiight.

If she can actually sing a ballad or country like the article said so be it. I'm not hating on fun, I'm just saying don't call it a movement or anything and don't let it be on hip-hop radio. (That's a whole different issue right there - hip-hop letting Top 40 come in)